Achilles Heel by Pedro The Lion - Indie Rock. This is the band's final album. To be honest, the songs aren't bad, they're just not very good. They are all of a fairly plodding pace and though the lyrics of general suburban malaise seep through nothing really stands out. The tracks all blend into one another. Give it a try, you might like it, or you might not really notice it.

Grade: D

Absolution by Muse – Rock/Prog. Don’t fall for those lazy comparisons to Radiohead. This band are nothing like them. This was their third album. It is a mix of pomp orchestral power ballads, space rock and some heavy guitar riffs (my personal favourite). Some great songs which all have the theme of paranoia and being trapped throughout them. However, still feels a bit ‘all over the place’ and lots of the songs seem to run out of steam by the end leaving the listener feeling unsatisfied. Tracks worth hearing: Time Is Running Out; Stockholm Syndrome; Hysteria.

Grade: C

Abbey Road by The Beatles – Pop/Rock. The final record recorded by the fab four but not the final to be released. What can I add to what has already been written about it? It is simply a mind blowing album that showed even when they were breaking up they still managed to be pretty close to perfect. The second side with the suite of songs is something that has to be heard to be believed. Even Ringo’s ‘Octopus’s Garden’ isn’t too bad. Honest. Tracks worth hearing: Come Together, She Came In Through the Bathroom Window, Something.

Grade: A*

Abattoir Blues by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds – First part of a double album set. The songs are heavy. Cave’s lyrics and voice are to the fore with darkness and menace. Awesome power in all the songs and also includes a gospel choir to answer Cave’s rants against God, society, Armageddon and the nameless ‘she’. Reminds me of Street Legal by Dylan…well the choir does anyway. “Are you sitting comfortably?” Cave asks on one of the songs, hell no. It’s impossible to want to just sit through this record. Tracks worth hearing: Hiding All Away; There She Goes, My Beautiful World

Grade: A

Lo-Fidelity # 2 - The Great Big Listen

The art of the album is dying. I don't like this. Albums are things that should be appreciated and listened to. iTunes, Glee etc are killing off the album.

I have decided to go through all of my albums that I own (enough to fill 120GB iPod). I am as guilty as anyone. I have neglected albums for too long. Though I am a big fan of the download age, my obsessive personality means that I buy albums and then don't listen to them as I see another new shiny one glinting off and rush over to that one. So now I am going to do my albums the listening they all deserve. However, there are rules:

1) No Anthologies

2) No Greatest Hits/Best Ofs

3) No Single/B Side Collections

4) No Split E.P.s

5) Bootlegs are fine - though they must be an unreleased album not just a collection of unreleased songs.

6) Live Albums are fine.

7) E.P.s are o.k.- though they must be of 4 songs or more.

The order they will go in for the reading is the name of the album, then the band.

Grading System: A* = Classic

A = Fantastic, but just not quite classic - missing that certain something...

B = Great album - some flaws but minor

C = Good, but not great

D = Average

E = One or two good songs - that's it.

F = Fail. Don't waste your time like I did mine.

A

A.M. - Wilco: Fresh from the break up of Uncle Tupelo, lead singer/songwriter Jeff Tweedy and others pen a distinctly country rock record. It has highs and lows and if you don't mind some twang it can be quite fun. You can almost imagine sitting in some bar and having a meat head come over to you and ask if you're from round here. Not bad, but nowhere near as good as others in their catalogue. Tracks worth hearing: I Must Be High; Casino Queen

Grade: D

Constipated

Hmmm. I am blocked. This is the first time this has happened in ages. No ideas. But you cannot force these things. I have more ideas for articles for the magazine that I write for but I have no ideas for fiction. It's annoying.

So, back on the wagon for weight loss. It's tough being a man in the 21st Century. Myself and a mate are both going on the no carbs diet. We're essentially lazy but I will begin running again.

Yes I will. Though I am off to Hong Kong next weekend so avoiding drinking beer is something of a challenge.

Oh well, running tomorrow. 3k. Get ready to see my red face blown up on a computer screen after I have collapsed from exercise again.

Hopefully the running might get me flowing again.

An article that could not be published for fear of backlash...which is fair enough.

Just a note: I wrote this article after David Haye made a media faux pas. I can understand if people get offended by it. But before you do try to just consider the point I was trying to make. The magazine didn't run the article and I fully understand why. I just want it out there.

Words, Words, Words

A joke: Statistically nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape.

That got your attention. Why start an article with this joke?

World Heavyweight Champion David Haye recently commented that in his upcoming match, opponent Audley Harrison was going to be “violated” and that the bout is going to be as “one sided as a gang rape”. Duly the media world gasped as one and asked him to apologise for his comments. Haye side stepped the apology and now more and more people are discussing the use of the word rape.

Newspapers and TV shows have recently been publishing and presenting articles and saying that the use of the word rape is abhorrent as a metaphor or simile and slammed comedians for using it as a joke; the clones of Mary Whitehouse whipped themselves into a frenzy using her spinning body as a dynamo for the censorship arguments & agreed with the journalists/TV presenters. YOU SHOULDN’T MAKE JOKES ABOUT RAPE. This stirred angry feelings inside of me.

Now let me get this straight – I don’t think the act of rape is some trivial matter. Far from it. It is hideous, animalistic and as many other adjectives you can think of that would show how disgusted I am by it. However, that doesn’t mean I think that comedians should not be allowed to talk about it or make jokes. That’s the point of some forms of comedy. To push the subjects that are taboo. Ah but what about racist jokes you say – well, if we’re honest (to paraphrase Freud from ‘Wit and it’s relation to the Unconscious) we still laugh because we know we shouldn’t laugh and that’s what makes it funny. We are all guilty of it too – we have all told ‘an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsmen’ joke. Lest we forget, those are racist jokes.

I digress. My point is that we can’t want to become some form a Orwellian Language or Humour Police telling people what they can and can’t say. The journalists then go on to argue that people who make these jokes (on stage, in conversations) are cruel because they assume that this has not happened to the person they are conversing with (statistics are then regularly thrown up about one in four women in the UK being victims of sexual assault, the journalists though seem to leave out the statistics for men). If we followed that thought about what we say could have a negative effect on every person then we could never say what we want or ever make a joke for fear of causing offence to every single person we met. Maybe I shouldn’t say the word ‘fuck’ anymore as the person I am talking too maybe hasn’t had sex for a awhile or is a virgin and so I am making fun of them. Maybe I shouldn’t say the word ‘shit’ because the person I am talking to is constipated. You get the idea.

They appear to miss the point about some comedians. They are meant to make you wince, and look at each other and say ‘Can you get away with that?’ If you don’t like that comedy don’t watch it. One journalist quotes: “...in the midst of some material about drink-driving, Ricky Gervais said: "I've done it once and I'm really ashamed of it. It was Christmas - I'd had a couple of drinks and I took the car out. But I learned my lesson. I nearly killed an old lady. In the end I didn't kill her. . .I just raped her." Geddit? (Me neither.)” The joke here is obvious – to become all analytical about it and sap any humour you may have found – Gervais is pointing out some bad things he is doing (1) He has been drink driving (2) He nearly killed an old lady – phew, she is still alive let’s hope he learned his lesson (3) He raped her. That’s the joke. He is saying he is evil, he didn’t kill her - he raped her instead. Fine if you don’t laugh, but don’t assume that others will not, and then try to make them feel guilty for laughing at it.

Words are powerful. That’s the point. They will only be trivialised by people who do not understand language, or will be used even more because journalists try so hard to point out how these people should be stopped from saying these words; this will cause more people to use them because we all like to provoke a reaction.

So there we have it. Rape is not funny. We have been told by the media. However the comedian George Carlin has said “imagine Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd...that’s funny”. And it is. So rape is funny. And on and on the debate goes.

I have the feeling though that if Haye had said ‘I’m going to murder him’ , all this talk wouldn’t have happened at all. Strange that.